The Rules

Blagging motherhood is fractionally more serious than blagging in the business world so I’ve decided there have to be rules.

So, here they are:

1. All problems and queries must be Googled.


2. Once a solution is found via Google, it is OK to then diversify and look at other websites/books etc, but not before.

3. Clearly, these rules do not apply to medical emergencies

4. Unquestionably, I’m allowed a certain number of wild cards – i.e. I can phone my mum rather than Google if I’m knackered/hormonal/PMT/can’t be arsed Googling.


5. My husband is not allowed to divorce me on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour because I am Parenting the Google Way.




6. I accept no responsibility whatsoever for the correctness or suitability of my, or Google's, suggestions and answers and will not be held accountable for any criticism you receive from health visitors. However, should they prove to be incredibly successful, I fully expect to receive all credit and praise via Comments.



7. Finally, it’s my blog and it’s my baby so all rules are subject to change at my discretion, should

I have the energy / be able to stay awake long enough to think of any new ones.





Image taken from Charith's photostream on Flickr.

A Professional Blagger Blogs

I am a blagger. It’s my job. It should really be written on my business card. Professional Blagger BA Hons (Blagging). It’s what I do to pay the bills, but more than that, I do it because it’s fun and I enjoy it. For some reason, pretty much out of thin air, me and my friend Google come up with solutions for businesses all at a phenomenal cost. It’s not difficult. You really don’t need to know much about anything really. As Malcolm Forbes once said “It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem”. Well, that pretty much sums up me and my job!

But my 9-5 is about to change.

In the next few weeks, I will, for 12 months, hang up my Professional Blagging Boots and instead become a full time mother. Yes, reader, I am about to walk away from the security of a slightly deranged but the ‘devil I know ‘office environment and walk blindly into my new role of motherhood.

When I first found out about the pregnancy, I took it as a sign to grow up and be serious. Time to stop making things up and blagging my way through life.

So, off I went to the book shop to find out how to raise a baby. There’s something about reading a book about that feels just……right. Like being at school. It makes sense that whatever is in the book is gospel. That’s it, it’s like the bible. It’s got to be right if it’s in a book.

Except, of course, it isn’t. Authors blag more than I do! You can say anything in a book and get away with it. Talk about confusing. Gina says this…. Dr Spock says that… Miriam says the other.. Supernanny says something altogether different… Aarrgh!

So, let’s rule out the pregnancy and parenting books. All of them. If they are full of blag then who’s to say that I can’t do better? Can I, a professional blagger, find the answers to successfully get through the first year of my baby’s life? Can I, armed with my trusty lap top, get through each dilemma and distraction the baby throws my way? Can Google give me the answer to every baby rearing dilemma?

We are about to find out……